Friday, August 25, 2006

Your opinion counts-at the Real Sporer

I’ve got another tough question, and a new contest, for the readers of The Real Sporer. If you could muzzle one entertainment celebrity, just shut their piehole hard, who would it be?

I’ve given this important issue some serious thought. To start with, there is the whole difficulty with definitions. Do characters who read fiction like Dan Rather and Katie Couric count as journalists or entertainers? Is John Stewart a serious news figure since so many Democrats obtain a majority of their news from the “Daily Show”?

In how many categories could candidates compete? Uneducated actors discussing foreign policy seems a good place to start. I don’t know about you but the names Kissinger, Reagan, and Thatcher seem somewhat oxymoronic with Baldwin, Robbins and Sheen. Radical chic is not a foreign policy.

Hippie civil rights singers are a second category. Glory days, they really will pass you by. Aging rock starts like Bruce, Mick and Neil have replaced once great creative talent with a full throated but half witted political phonation, repeating the anti-war slogans of the 60s and 70’s like a geriatric mantra. Maybe sticking to girls your grandchildren’s’ ages would be a more dignified means of pursuing relevance into your senior years fellas?

Demented racist millionaires are a third possibility. Yeah, life in America has been pretty tough for Harry Belafonte and Danny Glover hasn’t it. Harry, daylight’s been here for decades buddy. You have enjoyed success, glory and wealth all provided mostly by white people in the least racist heterogeneous nation on earth. While the terror bombers fully embrace the principles of racial neutrality Harry fully embraces the terror bombers.

Blue State panderers are yet a fourth possible category. John Mellencamp (Indiana) and the Dixie Chicks (Texas) demonstrate the depth of a mud puddle as they bleat the liberal line to gain affection from the cool Blue States of California and New York. Small town Indiana guys aren’t all that sensitive and caring Johnny Cougar. The guy that needed a girl that knew when to hit the highway probably isn’t all that bent out of shape by monitoring Al Qaeda telephone calls to the United States. But how can you get any love in Manhattan if you don’t understand the true danger posed to the world by George W. Bush and the extent to which the terrorist need a more “sensitive” treatment.

So here’s the question. You submit names and I’ll replace the CIETC poll with the top five celebrities you want to muzzle. The winner of the poll will get the first annual “Anna Nicole Smith Award for Lucid Political Discourse”.

20 comments:

Max Fischer said...

Barbara Streisand would be a good start. Sporer, can you stop her from singing too? Like, file an injunction or something.

HawkeyeGOP said...

How about Johnny Depp.

Kenboiraq said...

I think Celeb wannabe media Cindy Sheehan deserves banishment. She didn't even fulfill her commitment to starve herself to death and looked pretty good for 35+ day hunger strike when they supposedly force fed her. Wasn't her promise to us she would not eat until all the troops were out of Iraq? Why can't she hold her end of the bargain up?????

cr said...

Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, or Sean Hannity

I could do without the music of Barbra Streisand too, though.

Anonymous said...

Best gay porn actor Matt McCoy could be muzzled.

Anonymous said...

Ted, your creativity never ceases to amaze me.
i would vote for Ako out of his sheer ignorance and anti-american-ness, but alas, you have asked for celebrities---i agree with KenboIraq that Cindy Sheehan needs desparately to be muzzled!!!

WAR SPORER

Krustette said...

Katie Couric would be my choice for a muzzle. To think that people who don't have cable and watch CBS news will have her as their "mentor" for what is going on in the world is frightening.

Max Fischer said...

Like, Rosie O'donnell and every member of daytime's "The View." Like, Rosie's the alter ego of the Sporer.

Anonymous said...

There is such a laundry list of celeb activists, I would hope that they all shut up. Both sides of the isle.

Say the Dixie Chicks... they have a great sound and I've celebrated their catalog until their new politically filled lyrics, then bash the President. Or Mel Gibson now, love Braveheart and many more... then he says all of this stuff about Jews.

Tell all of them to just shut up and share your talents... that's why we like you.

Anonymous said...

Sean Penn, he's a retard

pissed off in des moines said...

Couldn't we use Michael Moore as a wild boar hunt like in the Most Dangerous Game?

Falcon said...

Please keep Alec Baldwin off the list of "celebrities" to be muzzled. I realize that y'all can't stand his liberal politics, but he's one of the few public names that is actually speaking out against the custody injustices that occur in family courts throughout this country (do you have a recognized GOP leader taking that stand). I'll put up with whatever Baldwin has to spout so long as he reminds the public of what happens to children and parents when they're thrust into that evil institution.

A second would be Bob Geldof (who works even more intensely for the cause of fathers desiring an equal chance at raising their children). In fact, I'd appreciate it if you could get Geldof's words before the GOP so that they might consider actually taking a stand against the injustice:

http://www.parents4protest.co.uk/media/fathers_rights1.wmv

http://www.parents4protest.co.uk/media/fathers%20rights2.wmv

http://www.parents4protest.co.uk/media/fathers_rights3.wmv

http://www.parents4protest.co.uk/media/fathers_rights4.wmv

Kenboiraq said...

Alec Baldwin and Bob Geldof get a huge pass for actually speaking out about divorce/custody injustices so I am with you on those two.

Michael Moore - he is such a perfect target for a big game hunt it would not be sport to shoot him. Of course, it would be fun to watch such an event!

Could Michael Moore marry Cindy Sheehan so we could throw them off the cliff together in a package deal?

Anonymous said...

First thought, Barbara Streisand. Second, James Taylor. Has everyone forgot about his political comments he made during one of his concerts? He sold out at Iowa State Fair. However, I know a lot of concert goers who were prepared to walk out if he tried to pull that again.

for_liberty said...

Ellen Degenerous
Rosi
Sean Penn
Hillary Clinton (she is as much a celebrity as a senator isn't she?)
Michael Moore
** I'm forgetting the ones that really piss me off.. **

unikat said...

uh..Michael Moore marry Cindy Sheehan? That would be terrifying...baaaaad gene pool! Shallow, but bad. Throw them over the cliff quickly, then!

Anonymous said...

Bill Maurer seems to have evolved from a comedian to someone CNN hosts asking for his expert opinion on just about everything. Other than his stand on legalizing drugs, I don't really think he is qualified to help with advice for our entire country. If he is this smart, maybe he should run for office. How many votes? Not very many! He used to be pretty funny, but now he is merely offensive.

itzybitzygrrl said...

Tom Cruise for a start...but politically speaking - Alan Colmes and I would just love to ring the neck of Babs as well.

Can we talk about some others we would like to keep talking? Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck, and I would LOVE to see Ted on the Insiders again!!! :)

steve66oh@yahoo.com said...

In case we run out of muzzles... Maureen Dowd should have every page of her "Are Men Necessary?" book individually torn out, crumpled and shoved in her mouth.

Dennis Miller used to be the mouth I loved to hate, but he seemed to have an epiphany after 9/11 and I haven't heard any recent backsliding from him, so he gets a pass in my book.

Also, no muzzle for Tom Cruise, its important that he continue to advocate for the goals and beliefs of straightjacket liberalism.

steve66oh@yahoo.com said...

In case we run out of muzzles... Maureen Dowd should have every page of her "Are Men Necessary?" book individually torn out, crumpled and shoved in her mouth.

Dennis Miller used to be the mouth I loved to hate, but he seemed to have an epiphany after 9/11 and I haven't heard any recent backsliding from him, so he gets a pass in my book.

Also, no muzzle for Tom Cruise, its important that he continue to advocate for the goals and beliefs of straightjacket liberalism.

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