Monday, May 21, 2012

Mormon Massacre: What the Washington Post missed.

Not just every Washington Post story can rouse commentary.  Most reasonably intelligent and even minimally informed news consumers have long since abandoned interest in ProgWorld's dying old media wing.  Today, however the WaPo dropped a journalistic thermonuclear device hotter than Hiroshima in August of '45; a scoop so critical to the Presidential contest that it required exposition on the very day of the Arkansa primary. 

Most news consumers have lost interest in the GOP primary insofar as Mitt faces no live opposition.  Thank God the sleuths at the WaPo have not been afflicted with the disease of disinterest in the otherwise now concluded Republican primary fight.  The WaPo devoted one thousand three hundred and nineteen words to the revelation of an enormously significant but heretofore undiscussed indictment of Mitt Romney's character and fitness to hold public office. 

On September 11, 1857, a date identified by the WaPo as "the first 9.11"  a group of Arkansas Mormons killed some 130 Christians in a battle identified by the WaPo as the "Mountain Meadows Massacre".   The relevance of a long ago and little known battle between violent hillbillies of different faiths is manifestly obvious to the 2012 Presidential Election.   

Oddly enough, however, WaPo's archives contain no mention of the words "Obama" and "Mau Mau".  While no living American was around for the "Mountain Meadows Massacre" millions are alive that may remember the Kenyan Mau Mau rebellion. 

A brief history.  The Mau Mau Rebellion was the first and most significant burst of anti-colonialism in Kenya.  From around 1952 through about 1960 the Kenyan revolutionary movement waged a particularly violent and atavistic civil war with the goal of expelling the British colonials and exterminating minority tribes and Kenyan Christians.  While the British crushed the savage rebellion with military force they also orchestrated Kenyan independence and the transfer of power to a civil, albeit hopelessly corrupt and authoritarian, Kenyan national authority. 

If the Obama autobiographies are to be believed-an eminently fragile premise to be sure-there is no question that the President's father and grandfather were sympathetic to the Mau Mau cause, although not complicit in its crimes.  Obama Sr. served in the Kenyatta government for many years following his return from the West in 1963. 

This is not to say that the President participated in the brutal Mau Mau massacres, like Mitt he was not yet born when the atrocities happened, or that his father did, or that his grandfather was a Mau Mau terrorist.  Then again, the WaPo does not accuse Mitt or any other member of the Romney clan of participation in the Meadow Mountain Massacre, or even presence in the state of Arkansas in the entire 19th Century. 

Having untethered the connection to reality the mind can hardly imagine the historical atrocities to which the ProgWorld press can link Mitt.  For example, Romney is an old English name and Mitt is descended from the famous English admiral, George Brydges Romney, 1st Baron Rodney.  Such a famous ancestor is sure historic proof of Mitt's complicity with John Plantagenet, Duke of Bedford, in the burning of St. Joan of Arc.  Seriously, you know there has to be a genetic connection there somewhere and we are just waiting for Dan Rather and Mary Mapes to produce the documents that convict Mitt of that historic crime. 

Then again, why limit the search for Mitt's contemporary guilt for historical anti-Christian atrocities to Europe?  Approximately sixteen million men are descended from Genghis Khan, among them Timur the Lame.  The Mongols killed hundreds of thousands, if not millions of Christians, over the course of three hundred years of empire.  You know, Mitt has those kind of Asian looking eyes, he's surely connected to the most historic of killers of Christians. 

If descent from Genghis Khan fails to terrify the American public there is always the relationship between Mitt and Casca Longinus or other Roman soldiery on the hill of Golgotha.

Fortunately we can all sleep well tonight with the knowledge that the WaPo remains ever vigilant and has almost six more months to explore the historical Romney complicity in the massacres of Christians.  

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