Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Carlton said a mouthful.............

Carlton Salmons, another great Des Moines lawyer (Gordon and I aren’t the only great DSM lawyers) said a mouthful on Monday. "You can pass laws from now until doomsday and you're not going to change human nature," he said. "You can sit here and recommend and pass all the laws you want, and there is no way on God's green earth you're going to beat somebody with bad intent, an intent to find a way to circumvent the law and do things that are improper or do things that are illegal. It's just impossible."

Fortunately the CIETC/Creative Visions/Polk County Democrat Machine scandals have provided the proverbial Ten Commandments for refining rapscallions everywhere.

1. Appoint political cronies and donors to public boards that spend money.
2. Have secret board meetings, conveniently ignoring open meetings laws to authorize large raises and bonuses for the aforesaid cronies and donors.
3. Use 5 or 6 different forms of signatures for the chairman of the board to approve the large raises and bonuses to the aforesaid political cronies and donors.
4. Appoint recipients of public money to the boards that allocate the money the recipients receive-giving a whole new meaning to the political expression “a little give and take”.
5. Have multiple conflicting By-laws, one set for regulators and a different set for the public. Imagine that from the party that has spent 5 years howling about all those Wall Street bad guys that W has spent the same time prosecuting.
6. Don’t keep files,remember the conspirator’s credo is "don’t put anything in writing" and if you do, give them to the Rose Law Firm for storage.
7. Purchase gold platted scissors-probably at a Dennis Kozlowski auction, too bad the gold platted crapper was already sold or the Imam Ako would have a most regal throne.
8. Engage in enterprises that have no accountability for results so no one can ask questions about the value of the investment (Creative Visions only needs to “help people”).
9. Smear the whistleblowers who disclose the scam before the disclosure goes public.
10. Get a $25,000 MasterCard so the board can vacation together after their exhausting engagement in the foregoing skullduggery.

Since mankind has been breaking the real Ten Commandments since their revelation I think it’s pretty safe to assume that the Polk County Democrat Machine isn’t changing its nature any time soon. Carlton's testimony provided the obvious solution, find people who will be somewhat more disinclined to improbity.

Let’s say it together..........

P.S. Check out State 29 for a more graduate level explanation of the PCDM's expertise in improbity.


Anonymous said...

When are you going to stand up Ted intead of your new boy Petey Rose?

US Grant said...

What the fuck are you talking about? Sporer is the most stand up Republican in the state.

Kenboiraq said...

Grant is right!

Ted is hitting the Dems with Body Blows and Knock Out punches akin to a young Mike Tyson (these fights are lasting seconds not even minutes) and some anonymous Democratic Hack asks him to stand up?

How does anyone posting as "Anonymous" ask Ted to stand up? That just shows the hypocrisy of the Democratic Party mindset.

Seriously, how many times to Democrats accuse a Republican (to put him on the defense) when they are in fact absolutely guilty of the very thing they accused the Republican.

Amazing stuff.

Anonymous said...

Kebnbo is right, how could anyone around Des Moines say Sporer isn't a stand up guy with the Democrats.

Keep bringing the heat Sporer.

Anonymous said...

Ted - this is freakin hilarious. Thanks for the must read every day.

Between you and State 29, I really get the most complete, yet entertaining news. Especially when juxtaposed against the C students writing over at the Register.

Remind me to thank Algore for the internet when I see him.

Anonymous said...

What the fuck does "intead" mean.

Is that like macaca?

young mike tyson said...

To think that anyone could last more than a couple of minutes in the ring with me is just judicrous.

Same goes for anyone going after Uncle Ted in the politcs.

Anonymous said...

sporer, come on, i bet you school Gordon in the courtroom...admit it!

The Real Sporer said...

While I am my favorite lawyer-Gordon is a good lawyer and a pretty good guy.